Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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