It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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