Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
