make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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