His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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