i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
