I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
