to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
