Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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