so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Randomize
