I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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