Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize