yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
