This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
