hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
