Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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