Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Randomize
