life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
