He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
