The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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