What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
