I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
