Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize
