yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
