To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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