so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
