he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
