so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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