I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
