I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
