Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
