Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
