Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You may now shotgun with the bride
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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