Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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