Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
