I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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