Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
