his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
