Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
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I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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