Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
