Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
