Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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