WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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