dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
