id be glad to
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
