Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
