weddingsv make me drug and hornr
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
