What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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