I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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