didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
