You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
