I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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