You're earring is so big in my mouth
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
