it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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