I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Randomize
