it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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