jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
BRING THE BAGELS
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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