My liver just broke up with me...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
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