the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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