Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?

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  (614): I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place? http://tfl.nu/g0k2
  Replies (21) Good night (583) Bad night (1790)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.

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  (952): I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa. http://tfl.nu/1yb9
  Replies (98) Good night (3717) Bad night (734)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.

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  (919): You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume. http://tfl.nu/gckc
  Replies (46) Good night (13273) Bad night (946)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Thanks for getting me home last night.

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.

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  (281): Thanks for getting me home last night. (832): No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa. http://tfl.nu/wftp
  Replies (29) Good night (9050) Bad night (1052)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme

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  (781): the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme http://tfl.nu/i0u7
  Replies (9) Good night (5048) Bad night (875)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.

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  (773): we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby. http://tfl.nu/gkxo
  Replies (4) Good night (2792) Bad night (693)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE

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  (480): I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE http://tfl.nu/wmq4
  Replies (5) Good night (2363) Bad night (1222)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass

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  (678): And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass http://tfl.nu/ws6p
  Replies (14) Good night (2090) Bad night (735)
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  (845): View more from New York

  3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.

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  (845): 3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year. http://tfl.nu/9uak
  Replies (9) Good night (2723) Bad night (819)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.

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  (701): Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual. http://tfl.nu/sj3h
  Replies (6) Good night (1768) Bad night (1311)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Casually had to file a missing persons report last night

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  (703): Casually had to file a missing persons report last night http://tfl.nu/xg7g
  Replies (12) Good night (865) Bad night (1848)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.

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  (864): Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some. http://tfl.nu/bkik
  Replies (27) Good night (3381) Bad night (892)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back

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  (512): You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back http://tfl.nu/1cno
  Replies (2) Good night (1231) Bad night (466)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Did you high five my face last night?

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Yes. Yes I did.

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  (573): Did you high five my face last night? (417): Yes. Yes I did. http://tfl.nu/h5yc
  Replies (2) Good night (691) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.

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  (847): I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards. http://tfl.nu/rmew
  Replies (0) Good night (252) Bad night (134)

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