Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.

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(224): View more from Illinois

She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.

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(703): View more from Virginia

She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(505): View more from New Mexico

Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.

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(305): View more from Florida

Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.

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(530): View more from California

We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.

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(315): View more from New York

she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker

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(435): View more from Utah

Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.

(1-435): View more from Utah

umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning

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