can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
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Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
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i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.