Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I can't turn off my feet"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning