god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
