A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
the liver wants what the liver wants
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize