i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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