why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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