theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
