I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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